THIS SHIT IS OVER

IM SO WORDPRESS NOW

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BYE BLOGGER

Fruit smoothies nearly ended my life

So, big changes guys. I had given up everything in search of smoothie salvation. I was making smoothies yesterday, maybe a little bit too drunk to be working, but anyways, I slip on this frozen mango and the blender flies out at full speed and lands on this dog, still spinning. The dog is shredded to bits and the owner comes at me and starts trying to strangle me with his dead dog's leash. A police officer sees this from across the street and fires at the man strangling me, the bullet hits me in the foot and I yell. Luckily, a little bit of the blood from my foot squirts up and blinds my assailant. The cop runs off and the dog, still nervously twitching despite the lack of a head, starts clawing at me. The story goes on and on but...

....fruit smoothies nearly ended my life.

I'm going back to way things were.

conversation (on the way to the public library)

"This would be great music for group sex. I can see myself at an orgy during this part."

"Yeah, like all hopped up on viagra and ecstasy. RAAAA"

"The 17 year olds wouldn't even know what's going on."

"I couldn't agree more."

Fruit Smoothies Saved My Life

I'm giving up nihilism and cold-heartedness for the warm/cool embrace of fruit and milk. The blog will be retitled "the shape of smoothies to come." I'm quitting guitar, selling my camera, and spending the money to open up a smoothie stand downtown. Fruit smoothies saved my life.

You Know....

I used to be worried about society's intellectual progress,

but it's okay now.

we can all give up.

I'm gonna go watch the bachelorette.

VOMIT

passion pit + raybans + musicvideo + wedding = VOMIT

if you or your friends are thinking of having a hipster wedding, get help soon.

and uh... vomit....

(upon reflection i would like to add: excuse my abrasive nature today, i just got home from pitachip/potatosalad/beer rehab and life is really rough. and no, i am not capitalizing i today)

Jan Brewer, Arizona Gov, Issues official statement

In response to the Jude Bolton's preliminary injunction against key and controversial portions of SB 1070, Jan Brewer issued this official statement:

"Look, I'm sick of playing games. Let's lay the cards out on the table. I hate mexicans, I said it. I am a racist. I am okay with blacks, chinese people and sometimes homos... but I really hate mexicans. THIS LEGISLATION IS RACIST! We are a state ruled by racists! That's the way it is. Of course these provisions target Mexicans. Who else living in Arizona could possibly be mistaken for an illegal immigrant? Seriously you guys, let's cut to the chase. I am a racist, my supporters are racists, we hate Mexicans, and we want to take away their rights. I'm calling upon all other racists to support me as we fight to get this racist bill passed. Oh and one more thing, white power."