Meeting of the Jesuses

Transcribed from earlier:

Original Jesus: "Welcome Jesuses! We are gathered here today to discuss the next month in jesus-ing. Gay Jesus, you are first to speak on the agenda, what say you?"

Conservative Jesus: "Now holdon a minute, why does gay jesus get to talk first? You know how I feel about queers, and I wont..."

Texas Jesus: "Yeah, I agree..."

Drunk Jesus: "Heyyy, doesss anybody havee a cigarette, I need to step outside..."

Cigarette Jesus: "I do, Here."

Drunk Jesus: "Thanks mannn."

Gay Jesus: "If you will allow me to speak, first on the agenda I would like to show pictures from my wonderful commitment ceremony with Anderson Cooper. Here you will see..."

Conservative Jesus: "I can't watch this."

Samuel Jackson Jesus: "Would you shut the fuck up, motherfucker? No one gives a fuck what you think."

Gay Jesus: "Agreed, and we will be honeymooning in Spain next month, so I won't be at the meeting."

Hispanic Jesus: "I am finished with the backyard, I'd like my check now."

Original Jesus: "Of course Jesus, here you are."

Arizona Jesus: "Is he an illegal, can we check his papers?"

Progressive Jesus: "Back off man, he has every right to his privacy and I won't have your facist policies in here. I won't stand it."

Conservative Jesus: "Shut up Progressive Jesus, go drink a latte and make green energy with Gay Jesus."

Original Jesus: "Would everyone please be quiet!"

All Jesuses: RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE

Samuel Jackson Jesus: "EXCUSE ME, THE MAN SAID BE QUIET! SO WOULD YOU ALL BE SO KIND AS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WILL HAVE SHOELACES FOR HAIR!"

Original Jesus: "So our next order of business is...."

To be continued.